(Just Like) Starting Over

I’ve been married eleven years, but it doesn’t look like I’ll celebrate a twelfth.  My wife and I have separated.

The state of Washington requires 90 days of legal separation before a couple can file for divorce.  As I signed the papers I asked her if she’d keep an open mind and an open heart throughout this time, pray about our future and take inventory again 90 days from now.

“No,” she said.  “I don’t want to give you any false hope,” she said.  “We’re getting divorced,” she said.

So there you have it.  We’re getting divorced.

On the bright side, I’m still sober.  I’m doing all the right things (or so they tell me), managing my emotions in a healthy manner.  I’m seeing a therapist, going to at least one AA meeting a day (I’ve been to as many as three in a day at times over the past few weeks), calling and spending time with friends and those who love me, and just generally doing all the things to manage my grief, anger, and horror in a healthy way. I’ll be fine. Eventually.

I’ve made a conscious effort to not immerse myself too deep into my tabletop sports games, because – as an addict – I am at risk of using this diversion as an unhealthy manner of avoidance.

But I am allowing myself one game a night in my 1982 Angels replay, and that has been a fun and welcome diversion. The Angels are 19-6 after 25 games, their potent lineup averaging over 7 runs per game. Will they keep up this pace? Unlikely. But in the meantime, it feels good to beat up on the American League right now, and the dice are rolling my way.

At least something is.

Stats through 25 games – click to see full size

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  1. Sorry to hear it, man. I’ve often wondered if replay gamers are more susceptible to divorce than others. I’ve attended 1 or 2 Strat conventions and was shocked at how common divorce was among the folks there. It seemed like everybody I played against had separated at some point in their lives.

    At church this past weekend, the priest was talking about her addiction to Farmville and how it’s sometimes kept her from really engaging with her significant other.

    It made me think of how much I look forward to a lunch-time game of Strat, APBA, Diamond Mind, Dynasty (whatever I’m in the middle of at that time) at work and how, if a co-worker wants to do something during lunch part of me feels like “Awww… come on! I had a game planned!”


    Brighter days ahead for you, I hope. Keeping you in my prayers.

    Go Halos!

  2. I wish you well in your next chapter and glad to hear that your thinking about the choices you make as hard as that must be at this time.

  3. Paul,
    My thoughts and prayers go out to you in this time of trouble…I too am divorced and although things may look dark now they will get better with time. I hope you are lucky enough to find the “right” person to share your world with when the time is right! Continued success on your soberness journey!

  4. Paul: Hope all is well and the last year and a half have brought you contiued sobriety and some companionship.
    For over seven years APBA Baseball has been with me on my journey of recovery;always there when I need a bit of solitude;never being judgmental of my past mistakes………………Take Care

    Ira P.
    Clean Date: 8/30/06

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